Alexa, play “Pretty Hurts”

Muthoni Njue

Find attached the most unflattering photo, but it will all make sense, I promise

Going by evidence of a personal photo, you can tell that this is very unusual. On matters angles, you surely can forgive a girl. At the time, I really thought this was the only way to hide a fivehead, until the other gender figured that out. They always ruin everything. On matters filters, well, how can I say this without sounding old, there was a little something called Retrica and I really thought I had a little something going on with it. On matters beauty, of course we all agree that I am a celestial being, unmatched gorgeousness, earth shattering beauty, the yet-to-be-named wonder of the world but humble as ever. Which is why I was playing it down here – to fit in with the mortals, to deflect the shine off me, you’re welcome. Moving…

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